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Old 10-05-20, 01:55 PM  
glavtx
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: texas
I am so sorry for your loss. I can only echo that we all deal with loss in different ways, and heal at different rates, so do what you feel like doing. If exercise makes you feel better, do that, try and see how it works for you.

Prayers for you and your family.
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It is our resistance to things as they are that causes most unhappiness.

When you rise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life, for your
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Old 10-05-20, 03:07 PM  
unfetteredpast
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Susan, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you are able to find some comfort. Take time to grieve and don't feel like there is any timeline that you have to adhere to. Sending a virtual hug.
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Old 10-05-20, 03:11 PM  
Izzy
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: West of Chicago in the Illinois Corn Belt
My deepest sympathy for your loss and the tragic way your mother passed. I am in agreement that you can only do what you feel you can do each day. We all know the benefits of exercise is for us but in our darkest days just getting out of bed can be an accomplishment. My parents passed away 1 month apart. Were as we had some preparation for my mom, my dads was more in line with how your mother passed. I was working two jobs, going through a divorce, an order of protection against my husband, I had 2 kids in high school and one in middle school. We then had to close up their place, and pack up 50 years of their life in a very short period of time. Three of my siblings lived out of state so most of this fell on me. For me, I walked when I could. During those walks, I cried, I prayed and I found ways to just get through. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Don't place any expectations or set too many goals. I found walking to be therapeutic and it did help. I am so sorry. I wish I could offer you more.
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Old 10-05-20, 03:21 PM  
sherry7899
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Susan, there really are no words, but please know that we are all here for you. I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how traumatic it is. Please be kind to yourself and do not pressure yourself in any way. Just do what feels right each day, or even each minute or hour.

Hugs and love,
Sherry
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Old 10-05-20, 03:24 PM  
BunnyHop
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
I'm so sorry for this devastating loss!

Don't feel badly that you're having trouble processing all of this right away, or at all. The whole thing is a huge shock to your system that's just too complex for simple answers and quick fixes.

For me, time itself has been a huge help. Having landmarks in time so that I could say "It's been a week, a month, six months, a year, two years ..." really helped me realize how much things had changed for the better in terms of how I felt and how I responded.

Be sure to reach out and talk to others. Pay attention to the offers for help and a sympathetic ear. Realize that not everyone who makes the offer will follow through in ways that you find comforting or satisfying, but that if you just keep reaching out, eventually you'll find some people who can truly offer the soul-healing sort of connection that seems to bring some light to the darkest days. Don't close yourself off and hibernate. Don't reject the idea of help and solace, you're just delaying the inevitable.

For a long time after my father's death, I was inconsolable. I was 'doing everything right' but needed time to heal from the physical and emotional exhaustion.

No timetable that already exists will serve to tell you exactly when your sense of normality will stabilize.

It sounds to me as though you're on the right track.

Just hug the people close to you and take care of each other.

You have my sympathies.
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Old 10-05-20, 05:49 PM  
seagreen01
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Susan I’m sending my condolences for the loss of your loved one. I cannot know how you must be feeling but can only imagine. Take special care of yourself at this time.
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Old 10-05-20, 10:12 PM  
bee
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Sending more hugs and condolences to you. As others have mentioned, it's probably impossible for any of us to tell you how soon is too soon but I will say "baby steps" and as others have said, be kind to yourself. And sometimes being kind to yourself is making a choice to not have the donut. If you can take a moment to make better choices, I think that's a victory. A little bit of movement each day might feel good, but take it day by day. I hope our little VF world can bring you some comfort.
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Old 10-05-20, 10:40 PM  
violingal3
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Colorado
Everyone has already said so many thoughtful things, just wanted to send more prayers and hugs your way.
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Old 10-05-20, 11:16 PM  
VainJane
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Susan, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss! I echo everyone who said to take it one day at a time. Maybe doing small things in preparation like laying out your workout clothes the night/morning before will make it feel less daunting. It might also help to pull out four or five of the least dread-factor-inducing workouts from your library and just rotate them for a while. That way you won't have to expend mental energy each day deciding which workout you're going to do.
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Old 10-06-20, 05:56 AM  
Garrie A.
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Virginia
(((((HUGS))))) Susan. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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