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Old 04-13-16, 01:01 PM  
jackie7
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Sister in her 40s

My sister became pregnant in her forties but lost both to what was later diagnosed as a progesterone deficiency. They put her on mess to increase ovulation which resulted in an ectopic pregnancy. After that, she adopted. ( Her husband was not willing to do in vitro).
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Old 04-13-16, 01:19 PM  
MsThistlebottom
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Quote:
Originally Posted by wlorrie View Post
A sister of a friend of mine has her first and only child at 48. She had just gotten married, and figured she was too old to get pregnant. Well, mother nature thought otherwise. She has a normal, healthy baby.
This was exactly the situation with my maternal grandmother. She had her first and only child at 48. Thought she was too old to get pregnant. When her periods stopped, she thought she was going through menopause. She had an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery, and my mom was born on her kitchen table (keep in mind this was 1918 ). Today, my mom is a strong and healthy 97-year-old.
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Old 04-13-16, 01:19 PM  
twinkletoes
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
I got pregnant at 39 and delivered when I was 40. When I went off BC my doctor said it could take up to a year to get pregnant, but I got pregnant the first month.

Now recovery after pregnancy at 40 compared to 28...that's a different story.
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Old 04-13-16, 01:38 PM  
poohpeggy
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: michigan
I gave birth at 37 yrs old to one of my daughters. She was born perfectly healthy and still is. I Thank God for this blessing. I never used birth control medicine or had Fertility treatments. I gave birth at home for all my children using midwives. My son whom I gave birth to in 1985 developed Juvenile Diabetes at 9 months old. He has had insulin shots ever since. One really never knows, but I believe in living life to its fullest while alive.
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Old 04-13-16, 02:20 PM  
jenn38
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: accord ny
I'm glad you asked this question. It's a thought that has been on my brain a lot lately. I am 45 and on BC never had an urge to be pregnant. Now that my step daughter is 18 ( I have helped raise her since she was 2) and I watch how her bio mom gets all the I love you's and fawned upon I do have regrets about never having a child of my own. And maybe a little jealous or a lot jealous. And sometimes I wonder if it's possible for me or if it's what I really want.

I hope you get the answers that you seek. And I love hearing all the positives from older women who have had children later in life.
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Old 04-13-16, 04:24 PM  
Eibhinn
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Atlantic Canada
I do want to urge anyone feeling relieved that they can just wait until their 40s to get pregnant to not rely on that idea. With the increasing incidence of older mothers a lot of women are getting the incorrect idea that it's easy for anyone to get pregnant in that age range. As fun as the stories are - this is possible for some people, but for others not at all. I hope no one assumes they'll be happily fertile until 50 years old and end up disappointed when it turns out not to be true. That's increasingly happening.
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Old 04-13-16, 05:44 PM  
Nuggie's Auntie
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: I love that dirty water...
I went to a fertility specialist when I was 38. We had been trying to conceive for nearly two years. It had taken almost a year to get pregnant with our first child, then we miscarried a second very early, then... nothing. So I finally went to the doctor to find out what was up.

After getting the full work-up, the doctor told me I had 'diminished ovarian reserves.' In short, I was running out of eggs. This shocked me because I remember in sex ed years before the nurse had assured us girls we had been born with plenty of eggs and we'd never run out. Turns out that is not really true. We can run out of eggs and their 'quality' diminishes with age. (This is just one of the myths I had been told about fertility.)

The doctor told me I could still get pregnant, but the chances were not good (less than 5%.) He told me the best he could do for me was IVF with donor eggs. We weren't interested in going that far down the fertility road, so we decided to look into adoption.

I was really shocked to learn that my fertility was that compromised at 'only' 38. I knew many women my age who were getting pregnant with relatively little difficulty, and had been reassured by many people with stories of their mothers, sisters, neighbor's boss's cousin's wife who got pregnant no problem well into their 40's! So don't worry! You have plenty of time!

In my case, I did not have plenty of time. I know those people were real. I don't think the stories were made up, and I know people told me about them because they wanted to encourage me and give me hope, but in my case, it could have very easily been false hope. I remember saying to the doctor, 'but I know many women my age who are getting pregnant no problem! Am I just aging more rapidly than they are?!' He assured me my results were very normal for a woman my age.

Yes, many women do have babies into their 40s, but many women also cannot. You just don't know in which camp you fall until you try! This is why I encourage women to get some testing done. I know I'm a broken record on this, but really, it's good to get at least some idea of how the land lies for you. It's certainly not going to tell you a confirmed yes or no, but it might give you some idea of what your chances are. In our case, it sort of freed us up to move on from the idea that our next child would come from our own bodies and opened us up to the world of adoption. We felt very peaceful about the whole thing, thanks to the testing and getting more information on things.

It turned out that adoption didn't pan out for us, and I actually was already pregnant with my DS2 that very day that the doctor told me I had a less than 5% chance of conceiving! Tomorrow is his fifth birthday. He is a delight! He is also special needs, but I don't know that it had anything to do with my age. He is PURE SUNSHINE, that boy. We're very, very thankful for him!

Other people's stories can be helpful, but I don't think we can hang our hats on them. Every couple's situation is very unique.
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Old 04-13-16, 07:52 PM  
dmlarue1
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: SC
I have 2 friends who got pregnant in their 40s, one was 42 and not trying and the other was 41 and trying for a long time.

Unfortunately I was not that lucky. If I had any advice for my younger self, it would be to start trying when I was younger. Even with fertility treatments, I haven't been able to get pregnant. I started treatments when I was 38. All of my trials had great numbers (in fact on one scheduled visit my doctor was in a MVA and missed my appointment, she had me come in the next day and warned me that my numbers were so good, I may have multiples).

I have no issues, they couldn't find anything wrong. If you look at the rates, they are really low in your 40s even with fertility treatments. Its devastating when you can't get pregnant, especially when you hear all these stories about other people in their 40s getting pregnant. But remember that is NOT the norm.

I am not trying to be negative, but I feel that women are really not getting the truth that it is just a lot harder the older you get. And fertility doctors can only do so much. And you may not know that person may be using donor eggs or embryos. And its also extremely expensive and most is not covered by insurance.

My husband and I ended up adopting 2 boys from foster care. I love them so much. I am happy that it all worked out the way it did and wouldnt change anything, but it was pretty devastating. And people who didnt struggle with infertility have a hard time relating on how devastating it is.
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Old 04-13-16, 09:44 PM  
Leonana
 
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Arizona
I got pregnant at 40 and had my daughter at 41. We tried for over two years, so I do feel fortunate that I did get pregnant. She's 15 now.

She is healthy, and I had no complications with delivery. We had a homebirth and everything went well. It's a little harder now, going through the teen years, but we feel blessed to have her. I'm not sure having a teen in your 50's is a good idea though, lol.
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Old 04-13-16, 11:52 PM  
topfitmama
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Germany
My mom, who had ten children, had her youngest at the age of 45. My mother-in-law, who had eight, was in her forties when she had her last baby. Like Poohpeggy, they never used any medication for fertility or contraception. My maternal grandmother had my mother, her fourth child, when she was forty. She had health problems and had been told not to have any more children, but God had a different plan.

On the other hand, one of my sisters-in-law has had two miscarriages and struggles to conceive. She's only 36.

I second Nuggie's Auntie's advice to get tested and try with cautious optimism.
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