Off-Topic What would you do.....

[imhere2dance]

Originally Posted by horsemom2

Sorry you are having a difficult and painful time but only YOU can decide what is best for you and your family.

(No offense but I do not think it was wise to post this on a public forum because it is a very private matter)

Barb S

I'll admit I'm very uncomfortable. Yes, I know it's marked "off-topic," but there is nothing in the title that tells us what we'll be clicking on. Could it be changed?

[Taiga]

If you even just hover the pointer over the title of the thread, you can see the topic and choose not to click at all. Or the OP very succinctly describes the issue in the first post. For those uncomfortable, why not just back out if you don't want to read on? The initial post is only a sentence long. How would it possibly be better putting any part of this topic or related warning in the title on the general forum?

I feel bad for the OP. She came here for help and I don't think shaming her is appropriate. Though I'm guessing it wasn't intended as most of the people here are kind. Facing the judgement or baggage that family members/friends can bring may inhibit people from finding comfort in a tough situation. Sometimes you want more 'anonymity' when you are seeking help. Of course we all know that it isn't true anonymity but for most of us, it is close enough. VF isn't Facebook. And as mentioned, OT threads can be deleted later. In the end, Lilypad will decide what is best for her family. There were a lot of kind words/opinions/experiences offered and even if they don't work for her, she will know that people cared enough to try.

Sorry you have to deal with this, Lilypad. People go through things and I sincerely hope that your DH finds a way to mend the damage. My heart goes out to you and your family.

[yogapam]

Deleted

[Sara1000]

Originally Posted by Taiga

I feel bad for the OP. She came here for help and I don't think shaming her is appropriate. Though I'm guessing it wasn't intended as most of the people here are kind. Facing the judgement or baggage that family members/friends can bring may inhibit people from finding comfort in a tough situation. Sometimes you want more 'anonymity' when you are seeking help. Of course we all know that it isn't true anonymity but for most of us, it is close enough. VF isn't Facebook. And as mentioned, OT threads can be deleted later. In the end, Lilypad will decide what is best for her family. There were a lot of kind words/opinions/experiences offered and even if they don't work for her, she will know that people cared enough to try.

This.

[JackieB]

Nvm.

[Taiga]

Originally Posted by yogapam

I think we all feel bad for the OP, it’s a terrible situation for her. But I don’t see anyone trying to shame her. I don’t believe that was horsemom2’s intention in her post nor was it mine when I agreed with her post. A public forum is not, IMO, the safest place to talk about something so personal. Who knows who is out there lurking.

I was mostly referring to the request that the title be changed because the person posting was "very uncomfortable". It almost implies that the problem is too disturbing for sensitive eyes. If you are human, then you have experienced prickly problems and I highly doubt that this topic will cause anyone significant psychological damage. Honestly, I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. I think if you see that 1st line and you aren't comfortable, you should leave the thread. I mostly just cringe that someone asking for help would be given pause.

If you are that uncomfortable reading it, imagine the pain of living it. Fortunately, those bothered can back click and walk away. So let the OP be comforted. She can decide how comfortable she is with the privacy setting. Bottom line, when someone asks for help, that takes precedence in my mind. VF isn't just a fitness forum---it's an online friend forum. And plenty of people here did offer a kind sounding board and support. VF has years worth of threads involving family loss, divorce, parenting issues etc. There is some risk involved in online posting. But there is also risk involved with hurting silently.

We all go through so much from cradle to grave. God bless us all and may we be as much comfort to each other as we can.

[imhere2dance]

Originally Posted by Taiga

I was mostly referring to the request that the title be changed because the person posting was "very uncomfortable". It almost implies that the problem is too disturbing for sensitive eyes. If you are human, then you have experienced prickly problems and I highly doubt that this topic will cause anyone significant psychological damage. Honestly, I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. I think if you see that 1st line and you aren't comfortable, you should leave the thread. I mostly just cringe that someone asking for help would be given pause.

Actually, when I hover over the title, I see the first 15 words. That tells me nothing about the topic within. We don't have an off-topic/friendship/whatever forum here (unless you count the news & events one) and Wendy has a sticky posted about there being too many OT threads. For someone who says they're not trying to hurt anyone's feelings, you're going on and on a lot in your two posts. Whatever. I know to stay away from all OT threads from now on.

[JeepGirl]

Originally Posted by Taiga

I was mostly referring to the request that the title be changed because the person posting was "very uncomfortable". It almost implies that the problem is too disturbing for sensitive eyes. If you are human, then you have experienced prickly problems and I highly doubt that this topic will cause anyone significant psychological damage. Honestly, I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. I think if you see that 1st line and you aren't comfortable, you should leave the thread. I mostly just cringe that someone asking for help would be given pause.

If you are that uncomfortable reading it, imagine the pain of living it. Fortunately, those bothered can back click and walk away. So let the OP be comforted. She can decide how comfortable she is with the privacy setting. Bottom line, when someone asks for help, that takes precedence in my mind. VF isn't just a fitness forum---it's an online friend forum. And plenty of people here did offer a kind sounding board and support. VF has years worth of threads involving family loss, divorce, parenting issues etc. There is some risk involved in online posting. But there is also risk involved with hurting silently.

We all go through so much from cradle to grave. God bless us all and may we be as much comfort to each other as we can.

I appreciate your kindness and empathy to the OP Taiga. As someone who has gone through a divorce that was triggered by infidelity I remember well the heartache it caused me for a long time. Given that the OP uses a nickname I'm thinking her anonymity is fairly safe. Lilypad I'm sending you good vibes and hope you find the truth and the right path for you. I hope you find comfort and peace. ❤️

[Lilypad]

Thank you all for your advice and support. When I first posted this the minute I hit the send button I wish I hadn’t but I’m not really to savy with this forum I couldn’t delete it. I tried. However,
it was really interesting reading everyone’s opinions. Some of them resonated with me and others didn’t not. Everyone handles things differently but honestly until your in a similar situation you don’t know what you would really do. I originally posted on this forum because this is something I wouldn’t share with anyone I know friends/family because people are so judgemental and biased and always ready to tell you what to do. Meanwhile they have no clue what’s really going on in my house. I came here because to me it is a form of animosity. No one I know is a fitness buff like myself. If I had offended anyone on this forum I truly apologize that wasn’t my intention. Thanks again

[SpiritYogi]

Originally Posted by Taiga

If you are that uncomfortable reading it, imagine the pain of living it. Fortunately, those bothered can back click and walk away. So let the OP be comforted. She can decide how comfortable she is with the privacy setting. Bottom line, when someone asks for help, that takes precedence in my mind. VF isn't just a fitness forum---it's an online friend forum. And plenty of people here did offer a kind sounding board and support. VF has years worth of threads involving family loss, divorce, parenting issues etc. There is some risk involved in online posting. But there is also risk involved with hurting silently.

We all go through so much from cradle to grave. God bless us all and may we be as much comfort to each other as we can.

Well said!!