Off-Topic OT: Ending a relationship with a partner...over exercise habits?

[Cowgirl32]

Originally Posted by Gams

I guess I'm the only one that doesn't think he necessarily sounds so bad. Like kittybug said, living on opposite sides of the country would make it more difficult to meet his parents. And how much time DO you spend exercising and training? I currently leave the house at 6:30 a.m. and get home around 7:30 p.m. If I added an hour or more of exercise onto that, it would make for a very long day. Maybe you are not spending as much time together as he'd like - that doesn't necessarily make him a bad guy. But it doesn't really matter, anyway. if you are not happy and don't feel this relationship is right for you - for whatever reason, then parting ways and allowing each of you to find someone better suited is probably for the best.

I definitely don't over train. I exercise 5 days per week. And have always dedicated my weekends to us. Plus he's always overseas for business. Yet I never said a word about his travels being a strain.

Yes, very controlling. His dad is that way.

[Usia]

Originally Posted by Cowgirl32

I definitely don't over train. I exercise 5 days per week. And have always dedicated my weekends to us. Plus he's always overseas for business. Yet I never said a word about his travels being a strain.

Yes, very controlling. His dad is that way.

You absolutely did the right thing. It's all about control. If it wasn't your fitness routine, it would be something else until you gave up everything you enjoy to please him. Conditional love is not love at all.

[Swissmom]

Originally Posted by Cowgirl32

I definitely don't over train. I exercise 5 days per week. And have always dedicated my weekends to us. Plus he's always overseas for business. Yet I never said a word about his travels being a strain.

Yes, very controlling. His dad is that way.

You just answered your own question. You did the right thing.

[maitai]

Originally Posted by cataddict

An ultimatum is not good idea in a successful relationship.

ETA: sometimes I think our inner radar senses something isn't right about a relationship.

Beautifully said !

[txhsmom]

I had an ex-husband like this. He didn't like it if I needlepointed or cross-stitched while I was sitting watching TV. It wasn't like I sat and watched TV much either. For him it was all about control.

Carol

[Gams]

Because you've never met his parents, yet you said his dad is very controlling, I'm wondering was it your boy friend who told you his dad is controlling? It's interesting that he would see it in his dad, but not recognize the same thing in himself.

Your initial post didn't say you felt he's very controlling - your last post tells us more. "Very controlling" is not the kind of person to be in a relationship with.

[Softshoe]

Some people don't understand the concept of training. Energy begets energy, you start working out and the body "sings". If one has never experienced this concept or does not wish to come to their better self, they may not understand the effort required.

I had a past relationship who asked me to stop saying I was in training, because it sounded like I was a monkey! He had no passion for working out. My husband thinks he is lucky to be married to me because he is a surfer. I understand his passion his need to move.

I hope the best for you. I applaud your efforts, you sound like you are making progress. You are special. This should be recognized.

[Cowgirl32]

Originally Posted by Softshoe

Some people don't understand the concept of training. Energy begets energy, you start working out and the body "sings". If one has never experienced this concept or does not wish to come to their better self, they may not understand the effort required.

I had a past relationship who asked me to stop saying I was in training, because it sounded like I was a monkey! He had no passion for working out. My husband thinks he is lucky to be married to me because he is a surfer. I understand his passion his need to move.

I hope the best for you. I applaud your efforts, you sound like you are making progress. You are special. This should be recognized.

Thank you. You are so sweet. :-)

[Cowgirl32]

Originally Posted by Gams

Because you've never met his parents, yet you said his dad is very controlling, I'm wondering was it your boy friend who told you his dad is controlling? It's interesting that he would see it in his dad, but not recognize the same thing in himself.

Your initial post didn't say you felt he's very controlling - your last post tells us more. "Very controlling" is not the kind of person to be in a relationship with.

No, he described his dad... And I mentally noted.. he sounds controlling. His mom always made the sacrifice for everything. His dad never supported his mom.

[antbuko]

I agree with everyone else. Your fitness habits were his excuse. There would always be more reasons why he felt you didn't have enough time for him. Perhaps he wasn't able to pinpoint why the relationship wasn't working out for him. Whatever, right? It's best you find someone who is more compatible with you, and not necessarily someone who is also fitness "obsessed". Couples often have separate interests. Sorry you are going through this. Break ups are tough.