Experts: Mom has biggest impact on girls' body image

[Debbie S.]

Jessica Smith just shared this article on FaceBook. Since there has been numerous discussions here regarding this subject, I thought it would be an interesting read:

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...image/2690921/

[Stephanie_B]

I've always believed this. My mom never made her external body a focus, but to the point where I was never told anything, not even that I had a nice smile. My dad and stepmom on the other hand led and continue to lead by example. Both are former triathlon and marathoners, both eat generally healthy nonprocessed foods and that's all we had growing up (I had my first and last Twinkie at 28), and what our bodies could DO like a pullup or play tennis, was the only focus there (and looking neat i.e. not sloppy) most of the time.

ETA: I was also raised to not believe in magazine models, etc. We grew up in SoCal and knew people in the industry....so growing up I knew what so and so looked like at a BBQ versus on the TV Guide cover.

[Erica H.]

Very good article. We carpool with another family and the little girl we carpool with used to talk about dieting when she was only in fourth grade. She and her mom would have contests on who could lose more weight! And this girl is tiny and shouldn't have lost weight anyway. I was so upset over this and certainly didn't want my daughter hearing any of it, but I did use it as an opportunity to talk to my daughter about not restricting food because she needed it to grow and be healthy and active.

Erica

[amoodygirl]

Great article and so true. Without violating the rules here, I had a very critical mom who's only focus was on outside beauty. My mom was beautiful when she was younger but really let herself go. She put me on my first diet when I was 6, locked the pantry doors so we couldn't snack late at night and even worse things, which I won't get into.

I battled eating disorders during my teens and 20s and my sister still gets on the scale 25 times a day. My sister has a daughter who is slightly overweight and I beg my sister to please, please, please don't do what our mother did. I can only hope and pray that she listens.

Diane

[dela]

I can't stress enough how impacting our parents words and behaviors are, in my case it really was both parents though, I can't lay all the blame on mom at all for this one.

[Erica H.]

Diane, my mom talked to me about my weight all the time when I was a kid because she had weight issues. We dieted together and then would break the diet and binge together starting when I was 11. I ended up battling eating disorders for many, many years and still struggle a lot with eating/weight/body image. I try very hard not to talk about such things with my own daughter and make sure she knows people come in all shapes and sizes, and that what's most important is what is inside. I tell her that my workouts are to keep me healthy and strong as I age and don't talk about burning calories or anything like that.

Erica

[amoodygirl]

Originally Posted by Erica H.

Diane, my mom talked to me about my weight all the time when I was a kid because she had weight issues.

My mom didn't have weight issues when she was young but she got married, had children and just let it all go. My mom was so mean about people's looks - she wouldn't hesitate to tell someone what an ugly child they had, how fat they were, etc. She was so focused on the exterior. I am the first to say she should have never had children!

Diane

[Nuggie's Auntie]

Originally Posted by amoodygirl

. I am the first to say she should have never had children!

Diane

Well, we're glad you're here!

The article is great, and I couldn't agree more. My mother def. said some hurtful things about my body/weight over the years, but what stuck with me most was how harshly critical she was of herself. To this day I almost never hear my mother say one kind thing about her body. She was and still is very, very hard on herself. And so, I was always inclined to be hard on myself. I am so thankful for my husband. He has done so much to help me retrain the way I think about my body.

On the positive side, how wonderful that we are the most important influencers in our daughters' lives! Yes, the responsibility is great, but when you think of all the crazy, warped messages are kids are bombarded with all day, how wonderful is it that we can counteract that. The best thing for them is for us to be healthy and model that for them.

[baba]

And this is why I always stand in front of the mirror while my kids are watching and flex and admire my muscles. I compliment myself and talk outloud to myself during this time remarking how it feels so good to move my body. To my kids, being strong in our family is know as being " mama strong".
And I talk a lot about nutrition. A lot. But I let them eat treats outside the house and I make paleo desserts for inside the house. I try to explain the relationship between food and health

[EnglishIvy]

Originally Posted by Nuggie's Auntie

Well, we're glad you're here!

Ditto

You are a gentle and gracious VFer (can't remember what we traded together but I do remember your kindness )