Experts: Mom has biggest impact on girls' body image - Page 3

Erica H. · 08-24-13, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunday

Reading some VFer's experiences here only reaffirms what I've always known - that I have the best mom in the world for me!!!

I am so grateful and thankful for her.

Even when I was clinically obese I was still the smartest and most beautiful daughter ever.

You are very blessed!

Erica

videofit · 08-25-13, 12:01 AM

My mother never said anything about my body pro or con. She didn't give a damn how she looked either. I always wanted to look as good as I could with my limited budget. I'm vain and proud!

Lizzo · 08-25-13, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daisyduke

Lizzo... I could have written your post although my mom passed away years ago. You wrote it so well.

I am now pregnant with my first daughter. I hope to show by example but more than.else I hope I am able to clearly show her that I will love her regardless of her size and shape.

Daisy, I just want to congratulate you on your pregnancy! Raising daughters in our complicated world is...well...complicated. But I imagine the payoff is worth it in the end.

jeanniem · 08-26-13, 08:05 AM

My DD is 13 and I do try to remember to have a positive body image, but it's not easy. I do tell her daily the positives I see such as how kind she was, how smart she was to figure out an advanced algebra problem ect. I also try not to over emphasize the compliments I give her regarding her appearance. I have struggled on and off my whole adult life with weight. My mom never made negative comments, so I don't know where I got my poor body image.

beth22 · 08-26-13, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lotusgirl

Once again, the media tries to say "Mom's - it's all on you."

I liked the article and I think it's important for mothers of daughters to be aware of what they say and what they do in regards to weight, diet talk, and exercise, but I also agree with your statement above. I don't have children of my own

but I do have several nieces and I try to be very, very careful about what I say around them. There's so much pressure on mom's to be perfect--I don't know how you guys do it! Say the right thing, act the right way, do the right thing. Sheesh. All any of you can do is try your best.

cataddict · 08-26-13, 09:53 AM

I was a heavy child. My mother was always supportive to me and I never felt that I was less in her eyes regardless of my size. The treatment from the kids at school were quite enough to convince me that I was fat---and consequently unlovely.

I do agree that mothers (and fathers) have a great influence on body image (and probably more so if it's very negative), but it's only one piece of the puzzle.

LynnO · 08-26-13, 01:58 PM

Well, if that is the rule, I'm totally surrounded by the exceptions that prove it. Personally, I don't think it is the rule. We are surrounded by images and messages that women are never enough- everywhere!

My mother was fit and attractive and not vain, and the negative messages from everywhere else were plenty for 4 girls in my family to have issues.

We didn't allow people to comment on my daughter's looks, positive or negative. My daughter is quite attractive and has always been thin, but i have some people in my family that are very ugly inside and wouldn't hesitate to nitpick her flaws to "help" her. ie. Make themselves feel better. And my dd also has some messed up body images. She came home in first grade and cried because I wouldn't let her go on a diet and all the other kids were. Not that she knew what it meant. That was just the beginning, and now she's never good enough no matter what- just like the media and advertisers want her to believe.

Kids and the media are brutal and few parents are going to overcome. This doesn't apply to everybody, some people have a greater equilibrium and seem to take things more in stride.

Vintage VFer · 08-26-13, 02:25 PM

Tmi

SurferGirl · 08-30-13, 04:14 PM

I was never told I pretty or beautiful by my parents. The only compliment I ever get from my mom is that I look "nice." I dont think Dad has ever given me a compliment on my appearance.

I was repeatly told between the ages 12-21 by my older sister that I was fat and ugly. Every.single.day. The worst part was my parents never stopped it.

I developed a full-blown eating disorder when I was 21 because I was so sick of it. Thats when she stopped. I was hospitalized when I was 23.

I'm at a normal weight now (I'm 40) but still suffer horribly with low self esteem. The pain never goes away.

Because my parents never stopped the ridicule, I always thought I deserved it.

They weren't model parents at all :/

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08-25-13, 12:01 AM
videofit Join Date: Dec 2002	My mother never said anything about my body pro or con. She didn't give a damn how she looked either. I always wanted to look as good as I could with my limited budget. I'm vain and proud! __________________ “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” Krishnamurti

08-26-13, 08:05 AM
jeanniem VF Supporter Join Date: Jan 2002	My DD is 13 and I do try to remember to have a positive body image, but it's not easy. I do tell her daily the positives I see such as how kind she was, how smart she was to figure out an advanced algebra problem ect. I also try not to over emphasize the compliments I give her regarding her appearance. I have struggled on and off my whole adult life with weight. My mom never made negative comments, so I don't know where I got my poor body image.

08-26-13, 09:53 AM
cataddict VF Supporter Join Date: Oct 2006	I was a heavy child. My mother was always supportive to me and I never felt that I was less in her eyes regardless of my size. The treatment from the kids at school were quite enough to convince me that I was fat---and consequently unlovely. I do agree that mothers (and fathers) have a great influence on body image (and probably more so if it's very negative), but it's only one piece of the puzzle.

08-26-13, 01:58 PM
LynnO VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001	Well, if that is the rule, I'm totally surrounded by the exceptions that prove it. Personally, I don't think it is the rule. We are surrounded by images and messages that women are never enough- everywhere! My mother was fit and attractive and not vain, and the negative messages from everywhere else were plenty for 4 girls in my family to have issues. We didn't allow people to comment on my daughter's looks, positive or negative. My daughter is quite attractive and has always been thin, but i have some people in my family that are very ugly inside and wouldn't hesitate to nitpick her flaws to "help" her. ie. Make themselves feel better. And my dd also has some messed up body images. She came home in first grade and cried because I wouldn't let her go on a diet and all the other kids were. Not that she knew what it meant. That was just the beginning, and now she's never good enough no matter what- just like the media and advertisers want her to believe. Kids and the media are brutal and few parents are going to overcome. This doesn't apply to everybody, some people have a greater equilibrium and seem to take things more in stride.

08-26-13, 02:25 PM
Vintage VFer VF Supporter Join Date: Nov 2001	Tmi __________________ Goal:250 / Done:91 POSTURE CHECK! Last edited by Vintage VFer; 09-01-13 at 07:55 AM. Reason: TMI

08-30-13, 04:14 PM
SurferGirl Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: New Jersey	I was never told I pretty or beautiful by my parents. The only compliment I ever get from my mom is that I look "nice." I dont think Dad has ever given me a compliment on my appearance. I was repeatly told between the ages 12-21 by my older sister that I was fat and ugly. Every.single.day. The worst part was my parents never stopped it. I developed a full-blown eating disorder when I was 21 because I was so sick of it. Thats when she stopped. I was hospitalized when I was 23. I'm at a normal weight now (I'm 40) but still suffer horribly with low self esteem. The pain never goes away. Because my parents never stopped the ridicule, I always thought I deserved it. They weren't model parents at all :/ __________________ Karen