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Old 01-07-14, 06:19 PM  
BigBadBetty
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Madison, WI, USA
Quote:
Originally Posted by boukilisa View Post
I've heard it here on this fitness board.
I have heard it here, online, etc. However, I have never had a friend, family member or co-worker express it. The biggest complaint I hear from real-life friends is that it is hard to find pants if you have athletic thighs. They don't want to change their thighs...they want pants to change.
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Old 01-07-14, 06:28 PM  
eyefit
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: wisconsin
I hear it from regular people. My sisters even. "You look great now, but don't do anymore or you'll look like a man!" My one sister is a natural mesomorph and when she was leaner at one point in her life she was mockingly told she looked "like a tranny" by a not so nice person.
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Old 01-07-14, 07:35 PM  
m42
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
When I'm lean I get those comments all the time. My arms, heck my whole body, is pretty muscular with little to no encouragement from me. In my 20s I was into bodybuilding but I started out stronger with full muscles. Mesomorphic body type I was told. Now, even though I do mainly barre and yoga and haven't touched weights in 10 years, in the summer I get comments like "I wouldn't want manly arms like you" and other comments that are too hurtful to share. I'm also very curvy so an extra 10 pounds can hide the muscles, but then I'm told I'm too fat and should lose weight. So yes, in my experience, there is a pushback against strength in women.
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Old 01-07-14, 07:46 PM  
beyond.omega
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I've heard it a lot, but usually it is women not wanting to look like those fitness figure model bodybuilder types. And that is easy to shoot down, cuz its hard enough for most men (who have move testosterone than women) to build that kind of muscle (for that look) that a woman who isn't taking steroids will likely not look like that unless she is really dedicated to get that look, but she can still get stronger by working out.

I do think its nuts for a woman to be a Marine but be afraid to build upper body strength for fear of changing what her body might look like. Seems like she should have gone into modeling if that was her concern. Besides, perhaps she doesn't realize that if she is worried that she will look like that trainer, she probably won't because the trainer has her own unique body...not all women would have the opportunity to look like that trainer, and likely that woman would always look scrawny and wimpy next to that trainer, even if she did train with her.

I do want to say though, that it is possible to get stronger without weight training. I used to believe it wasn't...until I actually did Pilates, Callanetics, and T-Tapp.
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Old 01-08-14, 01:30 AM  
msladybug
 
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Originally Posted by Sara1000 View Post
I am in my 60's and in all my life I never heard anyone say it was unfeminine or gross to be strong and have muscles. The only place I have ever heard this is in articles about why women are afraid to build muscles. I have also never heard a woman say she was afraid of building muscles or bulking up except in such articles.

I live in Texas. Maybe things are different here.
I hear it all the time. I hear and and read it all over, but especially I hear it here on this forum.
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Old 01-08-14, 02:21 AM  
EnglishIvy
 
Join Date: May 2011
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Originally Posted by msladybug View Post
I hear it all the time. I hear and and read it all over, but especially I hear it here on this forum.
Ditto.
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Old 01-08-14, 03:17 AM  
EnglishIvy
 
Join Date: May 2011
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Originally Posted by eyefit View Post
I hear it from regular people. My sisters even. "You look great now, but don't do anymore or you'll look like a man!" My one sister is a natural mesomorph and when she was leaner at one point in her life she was mockingly told she looked "like a tranny" by a not so nice person.

It's hard not to be occasionally annoyed by weaklings But mostly these days, I just feel joy in my body. It's powerful and I'm so grateful for what it can do. I love pulling myself up, climbing over and playing. I'm sorry for the people who miss out on that. I'm especially sorry if they miss out on it because they are slaves to the collective mirror or the incessant desire for empty adoration. To me, their comments sound like the song of a caged bird.
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Old 01-08-14, 05:28 AM  
Demeris
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara1000 View Post
I am in my 60's and in all my life I never heard anyone say it was unfeminine or gross to be strong and have muscles. The only place I have ever heard this is in articles about why women are afraid to build muscles. I have also never heard a woman say she was afraid of building muscles or bulking up except in such articles.

I live in Texas. Maybe things are different here.
Things are different in AZ, too. I remember, way back in college (late 70s), meeting a woman who was a body builder, and EVERYONE who knew her was in awe of her.
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Old 01-08-14, 07:37 AM  
Jeanne Marie
 
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Location: Atlanta, Ga.
I think it's important to remember that everybody looks different, and everybody has their own idea of what looks good for them.

That doesn't make anybody wrong. If a woman doesn't want to look really muscular, that's okay. If she does, that's okay too.

What people need to realize is that good manners go a long way. If you are saying you think a really muscular look is "gross" or "manly", chances are you are insulting someone who has that look. The same way it is insulting someone long and lean if you say that it isn't okay to want the long and lean look. Tempering what we are saying with grace and compassion is important.

I think the majority of us look the way our genetics make us look. Of course we can be fit and strong and do what we can to be our best self, but generally your body type is going to dictate your general look. I lift pretty darn heavy and have some definition, but nobody is ever going to call me muscular. I am stronger than I look. I am fine with that, and prefer the look I have.... which is good because I'm not ever going to look different!
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Old 01-08-14, 07:57 AM  
Sara1000
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
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Originally Posted by Jeanne Marie View Post
What people need to realize is that good manners go a long way. If you are saying you think a really muscular look is "gross" or "manly", chances are you are insulting someone who has that look. The same way it is insulting someone long and lean if you say that it isn't okay to want the long and lean look. Tempering what we are saying with grace and compassion is important.
SO true! All the time I was growing up in 50's & 60's I was shamed for my 'skinny' body - how times have changed! Nowadays they would have envied me. I don't think we should insult OR compliment people on how they look!
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