Video Fitness Forum

Video Fitness Forum (http://forum.videofitness.com/index.php)
-   General Discussion (http://forum.videofitness.com/forumdisplay.php?f=4)
-   -   Lending out DVDs (http://forum.videofitness.com/showthread.php?t=169318)

isebelleg44 08-09-11 07:47 AM

Lending out DVDs
 
I am posting this here as only a true vidiot can understand my predicament. I have a very large collection and have been exercising with DVDs for years. I shudder to think how much I have spent on workouts & equipment over the years. I must have owned thousands of workouts. There are some workouts that I will never part with and P90X is one of them. I bought the system when it first came out. Have used the workouts over the years and still reach for them. I like having them around, so if I feel like doing Core Synergestics one day I can just pop it in the player.

As you know P90X has become very popular in the last couple of years with the mass population. Those informercials are on constantly and even though I have owned the workouts since 2004, I still find myself watching them. My sister-in-law saw the informecial and found out that I had it and wanted to borrow it. Well I lent it to her over 2 months ago and even bought her S90. She has yet to do a workout. So there sits P90X in her basement unused... Meanwhile I have been getting an itch to do PlyoX, Yoga X and Core synergestics and I can't! She belongs to a gym and goes often, so why is my P90X sitting there and getting dusty, when I could be using some of those workouts!:confused:

Can anyone relate to my dvd selfishness?

MKEMom 08-09-11 08:02 AM

Yes! I loaned out a bunch of my old videos to my SIL, and she didn't do a single one. Eventually she just gave them back, but I was really irked the whole couple months I knew she had them and they were just. sitting. there.

I also lent Powerfit Harmony to my mom because I thought it would be perfect for her when she can't get out to walk, and she needs resistance training. She's only done one cardio workout from the set, and one core workout. Plus, all she does is complain about how much she hates it when she does it. :mad:

It's not so much that I'd be doing the workouts that often, I just want them to be well-loved!

summer breeze 08-09-11 08:04 AM

I don't it's selfishness at all. They are your DVDs and you want to do them. How is that selfish? She's not even using them, which makes her look selfish or at the least, kind of thoughless. Tell her you are going to do P90X and since she's not using them right now, you'd like them back.

I have a hard time asking for things back, too, but in this case you're totally justified. I can never understand why people don't just voluntarily return things when they're done with them or if it's obvious they're not going to use them. It would make life so much simpler;).

hotncmom 08-09-11 08:14 AM

I never, ever offer to loan out my DVD's, even to those people that I think would enjoy them. I have been totally burned in the past by loaning out books and the person "losing" them or not giving them back, and my DVD's are worth so much more to me, so why chance it? An even worse situation would be the DVD's being given back damaged, which would piss me off so much it would probably ruin the relationship, so again, why chance it?

Gams 08-09-11 08:19 AM

I would just ask for them back - tell her you want to use them.

CarlaVeg 08-09-11 08:20 AM

You are NOT selfish. You already lent the DVDs to her, which makes you a very kind person. Honestly, if I were you I would nicely ask for the DVDs back. Tell her that you really want to do the program again and that you miss your DVDs a lot! I am sure she'll understand!!!!! :D

Eibhinn 08-09-11 08:29 AM

Ugh. I've had that problem before, too - you lend something to someone, they never use it, but then when you want it back they try to guilt trip you because they "really want to try it." Yeah, no, obviously you don't really want to try it or you would have at some point during the six months you've had it. These scenarios tend to be annoying and awkward, but you have every right to stand your ground. Those are your workouts and you did someone a favour by lending them, but that doesn't mean you're obligated to let them have them for as long as they want. I think most of the problem with lending exercise DVDs is some people are committed home DVD exercisers and some are not. Those people who are not see a large collection and assume most of them are not used very often, or at all. So maybe they feel justified in keeping the DVDs for an unspecified amount of time. Many people who aren't vidiots also see workout videos as sort of "throwaway" things, and might even assume you're trying to get rid of it. And some people are just weird about borrowing and borrow things with the assumption there is no expectation they ever give them back. Not sure where people get this idea, but it certainly is irritating. I've actually had people getting straight up ANGRY with me for wanting my own stuff back. Can't let it bother you, though, because they're the ones who are being stupid and unreasonable in those cases.

I find one of the best ways to get an exercise DVD back from someone who doesn't seem interested in returning it is to design a rotation that includes that workout to be started in 2 weeks or whenever, and then tell them you need it back in two weeks because it's part of the new exercise routine you're starting. That gives them a fair amount of time to actually try to workout if they're ever going to (some people just need a deadline!) and it reminds them this is something you actually use and you weren't giving it away. Then remind and, if it comes to it, nag. I have recovered lost DVDs this way and no one is actually interested enough in my exercise routine to realize I ALWAYS flake out on my rotations. Always. Mostly I try not to lend my DVDs out anymore because they often turn out to be very difficult to get back, or occasionally come back so damaged I end up throwing them away.

Eibhinn 08-09-11 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotncmom (Post 1865607)
I have been totally burned in the past by loaning out books and the person "losing" them or not giving them back, and my DVD's are worth so much more to me, so why chance it?

I had a professor who had to re-buy so many books with his own name written in the front cover at the local second-hand bookstore that he stopped loaning books to students at all. I can't even imagine borrowing a book from someone and then selling it, but apparently it happens all the time.

Lucky Star 08-09-11 08:42 AM

Isebelle, your SIL has had them for over 2 months so I think it's personally reasonable for you to request them back. Just say you want to use them again.

I have some DVDs out on a lengthy loan with a friend, but even though I miss them sometimes (:(), I know she's using them so it's okay. They're not my favorites anyway. However, your P90X set is expensive and special to you so an extended loan to someone isn't practical. Two months is plenty long enough to test drive the workouts and see results. If she never even tried them then that's her loss.

ETA - Let's face it folks: no one but other vidiots "gets" how important our collection is to us. The average borrower is pretty offhand and casual about it, and can't really comprehend their value to us.

JackieB 08-09-11 08:49 AM

Yes, just ask for them back. Say you're wanting to use them--they are your dvds.

I have loaned to people before, and I just had to do this. Granted, I would never loan out my precious ones. Really, I think borrowing an expensive set like P90X for that long and not using it is selfish. It's your set--you were generous in loaning it out.

Jackie

isebelleg44 08-09-11 09:04 AM

I love you guys! I think people think I am nuts when they see my collection. And they don't even know about the numerous ITrain and Cardio coach workouts I have. ;)

I have given away so many workouts over the years, that I no longer use. I have traded and sold many dvds in my time, so its not like I am a hoarder. I just like to have a lot of variety in my collection, which can sometimes be a problem when I can't figure out what I want to that day. ;)

P90x is just too precious and expensive just to be sitting there unused.

isebelleg44 08-09-11 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eibhinn (Post 1865612)
Ugh. I've had that problem before, too - you lend something to someone, they never use it, but then when you want it back they try to guilt trip you because they "really want to try it." Yeah, no, obviously you don't really want to try it or you would have at some point during the six months you've had it. These scenarios tend to be annoying and awkward, but you have every right to stand your ground. Those are your workouts and you did someone a favour by lending them, but that doesn't mean you're obligated to let them have them for as long as they want. I think most of the problem with lending exercise DVDs is some people are committed home DVD exercisers and some are not. Those people who are not see a large collection and assume most of them are not used very often, or at all. So maybe they feel justified in keeping the DVDs for an unspecified amount of time. Many people who aren't vidiots also see workout videos as sort of "throwaway" things, and might even assume you're trying to get rid of it. And some people are just weird about borrowing and borrow things with the assumption there is no expectation they ever give them back. Not sure where people get this idea, but it certainly is irritating. I've actually had people getting straight up ANGRY with me for wanting my own stuff back. Can't let it bother you, though, because they're the ones who are being stupid and unreasonable in those cases.

I find one of the best ways to get an exercise DVD back from someone who doesn't seem interested in returning it is to design a rotation that includes that workout to be started in 2 weeks or whenever, and then tell them you need it back in two weeks because it's part of the new exercise routine you're starting. That gives them a fair amount of time to actually try to workout if they're ever going to (some people just need a deadline!) and it reminds them this is something you actually use and you weren't giving it away. Then remind and, if it comes to it, nag. I have recovered lost DVDs this way and no one is actually interested enough in my exercise routine to realize I ALWAYS flake out on my rotations. Always. Mostly I try not to lend my DVDs out anymore because they often turn out to be very difficult to get back, or occasionally come back so damaged I end up throwing them away.


Thank you for your amazing advice! You put in great words, how I feel.

Pie 08-09-11 09:07 AM

I don't loan out my DVDs, especially my expensive sets. If it's something inexpensive, I'm more likely to gift you your own copy. In your situation, I agree that you should tell her that you're planning a rotation with them in 2 weeks and that you'll need them back. That's more than enough notice. :)

Gams 08-09-11 09:14 AM

My sister asked to borrow some DVDs yesterday and I only gave the ones I have duplicates of - just in case.

superfit41 08-09-11 09:39 AM

I have had this problem several times. I gave my step-daughter S16 to use, and never got it back, and I thought ok, she needs it more than I do, except that she has never used it :( I ended up trading for another set, I just have to have that one... I lent out my TransFirmer and workouts to a friend a few years ago. After several months.....I ended up just buying another set :o My problem is, even though they are my workouts, I hate asking for them back. Trying not to be selfish, trying to help other people to start exercising can be expensive :eek:

Sherry:)

isebelleg44 08-09-11 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pie (Post 1865627)
I don't loan out my DVDs, especially my expensive sets. If it's something inexpensive, I'm more likely to gift you your own copy. In your situation, I agree that you should tell her that you're planning a rotation with them in 2 weeks and that you'll need them back. That's more than enough notice. :)

Trust me I didn't not want to lend her this set. I knew she wasn't going to use them, because she doesn't exercise to dvds. I also know that is an intense program that requires commitment. I warned her that is not best system to lose weight, but she wanted to still borrow it. I even bought her S90 to try to dissuade her. I can thank my husband for letting her know I had the set!

If she was using the set, ok I would deal with it but she's not! I am going to ask for it back, next time I see her.

hdw 08-09-11 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gams (Post 1865608)
I would just ask for them back - tell her you want to use them.

That.

edensmom 08-09-11 10:51 AM

I've come upon this recently. I have been lending workout dvds to my sister and she does use them but she had borrowed quite a few at once for quite a while and asked for more without first returning the others. Some pricier one such as Dove, Tracy A., etc. The trouble is I never know what I will want to use. I have probably 200+ dvds but they are mine and I want them available for my use. I am not a lending library. I thought at first, I have so much, I can't possibly use all of it at once and felt like I should or wouldn't mind to lend the workouts. Well, I've since changed my mind and gotten everything back. I have no problem asking (telling) for stuff back. It is your stuff and it was generous of you to lend. My collection is my favorite thing! Besides, my sister has like 40 or so workout dvds it's not hurting her to not use mine!

Kathryn 08-09-11 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotncmom (Post 1865607)
I never, ever offer to loan out my DVD's, even to those people that I think would enjoy them. I have been totally burned in the past by loaning out books and the person "losing" them or not giving them back, and my DVD's are worth so much more to me, so why chance it? An even worse situation would be the DVD's being given back damaged, which would piss me off so much it would probably ruin the relationship, so again, why chance it?

ITA

I've loaned out books to have them returned to me looking like they were read in the bathtub.

With the exception of one or maybe two people who I trust (and whom I would tell the 'loan terms' ahead of time), and maybe not even then with DVD's I really like, I would not loan DVDs.

cpcathy 08-09-11 11:03 AM

I don't lend DVDs, I donate or give them to friends when I'm "done" with them. I got my Zumba Exhilerate, realized that I wanted my Zumba Transfirmation back, so I asked my friend, whom I'd given it to, to bring it back!

Kathryn 08-09-11 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gams (Post 1865608)
I would just ask for them back - tell her you want to use them.

I agree.
Have you asked yet? She might have forgotten all about them. Time often passes faster than we think, so she may not realize how much she's inconveniencing you.

Tell her you plan to start using P90x again next week (or a specific time) and that you need them back.

eyefit 08-09-11 11:15 AM

I had this problem with my neighbor. She is pretty overweight and wants to start exercising and actually had gotten a good start last year and lost some weight. I borrowed her a few pilates dvds because she was really interested and curious to try it along with her treadmill workouts. Well, then she stopped working out due to a life stress situation and has since gained the weight back (maybe more). I really want to help her as we are good friends but I never got the original dvd's back..and like so many of you I feel so weird bringing it up! Luckily they weren't too expensive like P90x...I definately would follow up if it was that!

Also, she is expressing interest in trying to start working out again so I figure maybe she'll use them now! I'm not going to borrow anymore to her though. I thought I might gift her with a few beginner dvd's through collage video since they are having a hard time financially (another reason I hate to ask for them back!). I did this with my sister a few months ago when she expressed an interest in trying to do some yoga dvd's. I just can't part with my own dvd's anymore. I told my husband that they are my "Crown Jewels"!:love:

topfitmama 08-09-11 01:30 PM

I wouldn't lend my dvds either. Maybe to one of my sisters who lives nearby, buy only because she would lend me anything I needed. Even money.
Don't get me started on people who borrow (without giving you enough time to think it through) and then don't give back. :mad::mad::mad:

I'd rather pass dvds I'm done with on to people who are going to use them rather than someone who will just put in on a shelf. Workouts need to be loved :love: (That's something that only fellow vidiots understand)

CharM 08-09-11 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cpcathy (Post 1865689)
I don't lend DVDs, I donate or give them to friends when I'm "done" with them. I got my Zumba Exhilerate, realized that I wanted my Zumba Transfirmation back, so I asked my friend, whom I'd given it to, to bring it back!

You gave it to her and then asked for it back? Did I read that correctly? Did she mind that you did that? Or do you do that all the time and so it's no big deal? My sister has a friend who "gives" her stuff and then months or years later will mention it and then ask for it back. My sister is always annoyed, I'm annoyed by my sister who accepts these "gifts" knowing this person will probably want it back. I can understand she didn't know the first time, but after the first two or three times, you'd think she'd learn. LOL

I posted once about my BIL asking to borrow P90X, well my sis asked for him, I said no. It's P90X! It's expensive. Ok, truth be told, I don't think I'd lend out S90, and that was cheap. I'm dvd greedy. They're mine and they're not going to leave this house unless I'm giving them away.

cpcathy 08-09-11 01:39 PM

I know it sounds horrible but since I gave them to her she has been doing Turbo Fire and I asked her if she was still doing Zumba. Turns out she never did them. We've been friends forever so I just said lightly, hey, I could use them back.

CharM 08-09-11 01:47 PM

It doesn't sound so bad once you explained the situation. I confess, I've taken back dvds from my own mother! :eek: They were just sitting there, for about a year, so I asked if she thought she'd use them, she said no and now they're mine again. :o I'm a shameless vidiot.

I was just wondering how your friend reacted b/c of my sister and her friend's give-take relationship.

cpcathy 08-09-11 01:49 PM

I''m shameless as well as obsessive. As soon as I realizedhow much I like Exhilerate, all I could think of was how I shouldn't have let Transformation go!

CharM 08-09-11 01:54 PM

LOL
Well, I'm glad it worked out. (no pun intended)

lindseylu8 08-09-11 01:58 PM

Yes Id ask for them back too. its been 60 days. I lend out only those dvds that I KNOW I wont be using and I tell everyone that I lend a dvd to that they have ONE WEEK to do AT LEAST one of the dvds. And they usually dont even do one within one week. I usually take them back the next time I see them and tell them they had X # of days to do JUST ONE and they didnt. Im mean :)

Someone saw the Firm Express infomercial, wanted the set, asked me if I had it & asked to borrow my set and I said no. LOL, I knew I would want to use them at least a few times and I was pretty sure they would not get used.....

And theres wear & tear....

bzar 08-09-11 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarlaVeg (Post 1865610)
You are NOT selfish. You already lent the DVDs to her, which makes you a very kind person. Honestly, if I were you I would nicely ask for the DVDs back. Tell her that you really want to do the program again and that you miss your DVDs a lot! I am sure she'll understand!!!!! :D

i have heard of people giving the owner a bad time about returning videos loaned out. i hope that she does so willingly.

the 2 people i've loaned videos to returned them, and those 2 people i trust a lot.

on a side note, this man i work with recently asked to borrow my Harry Potter DVDs. i never followed up with him because his reasoning was that his granddaughter was coming to hawaii for a visit and wanted to watch them.

that afternoon, i told my other co-worker i'd never let him borrow them because i'm not sure if i can trust that my DVDs would come back in 1 piece. fortunately, he never asked about it.

Sissy B 08-09-11 02:18 PM

I never loan out books or DVDs that I wouldn't just be willing to give away.

~Sissy B

Sidlynn 08-09-11 03:03 PM

I loaned out my P90X back in May. We saw each other once a week at our kids' dance class. I forgot to ask if she had started them the next week, so I asked after 2 weeks. She laughed and said how relieved she had been I had forgotten to ask the week before since, no, she hadn't started. I haven't asked since. She could have finished them by now, but I know she hasn't started. Now someone from DH's work wants to borrow them (he borrowed them once before and gave them back saying they were too hard - guess he's been revving himself up!). So now I have to go ask for them back, unless she promises to start ASAP! :p

bearcatfan 08-09-11 03:30 PM

NO NOT MY BABIES!!!! :eek:

Ahem. I do not loan out my dvds to local folks. Ever. Buy your own :D

I have loaned out something to a VF friend once, but that was it. I am more open to loaning to VF friends because I know they will be in good hands. :)

casey 08-09-11 03:44 PM

I have an older sister that borrows stuff and either never returns the item or some crazy long time later returns the iem damaged. I am so happy I never lent her my wedding dress because I did lend her my handmade veil and she said "oh, I hope you don't mind, I had it taken apart and redesigned. ?!? I told her to keep it. Books come back damaged a year later. I lent her my Jane Fonda videotapes many years ago and she returned one 6 months later without the cover. I still haven't forgot that and she's the reason I don't lend ANY DVDs to ANYONE. I liked the floor work in her post pregnancy workout. It was actually very effective for legs but now I can't do it because she LOST it. Humph. I am presently slowly replacing my videotaped classic firms and I have 5 shelves filled with workouts in my exercise room. They are very important to me.

I got a little chill when some of you mentioned lending out their Doves or their P90x. If I did consider lending a DVD, it would have to be to a fellow idiot, not one of my real life friends that would leave it on a shelf and never do it. Shudder!

Sass 08-09-11 03:48 PM

I never even thought about loaning any of mine out. My brother asked me if he could borrow a few and I said NO immediately. I told him he can workout with them at my house if he wants, but they do not leave my house ever. I am OK with being selfish with my DVDs and equipment as I have spent a lot of money on them and want them to stay in the best shape as possible.

I'd ask for my DVDs back right away.

Kathryn 08-09-11 03:58 PM

If wanting to keep things that belong to you is "selfish," what is it called when you want to have or keep something that DOESN'T belong to you?:confused:

Indy 08-09-11 04:01 PM

I lent out Volume 3 of the classic Firms to a friend - at the time it wasn't a classic - and I had paid the $50 to get it when it first came out. I considered all of my Firms to be gold - sooo important to me. It killed me to lend it out - and I was on pins and needles to get it back. Finally - I just went and asked for it - and decided after that I wouldn't ever do it again.

If you want it - go buy your own. I do lend out videos to my sister and family now and then but they are usually really good about giving them back.

Darisa 08-09-11 04:09 PM

I don't lend out my DVDs. Even the cheapie ones. Go buy your own and start your own obsession is my reasoning. I do lend out to VF friends but that's not the same thing right? :love:

Melrose 08-09-11 04:14 PM

Don't do it! A few people have asked to borrow my DVDs, and my reply is ''Oh, no! I use them all the time!''

I don't lend books either - learned the hard way.

I do give away books and DVDs when they no longer interest me.

icebergslim 08-09-11 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by isebelleg44 (Post 1865592)
My sister-in-law saw the informecial and found out that I had it and wanted to borrow it. Well I lent it to her over 2 months ago and even bought her S90. She has yet to do a workout. So there sits P90X in her basement unused... Meanwhile I have been getting an itch to do PlyoX, Yoga X and Core synergestics and I can't! She belongs to a gym and goes often, so why is my P90X sitting there and getting dusty, when I could be using some of those workouts!:confused:

Can anyone relate to my dvd selfishness?

I don't lend out DVDs or CDs. Why? Because most of the time they are not returned. And for exercise dvds, I definitely do not. Why? Because the person must make an initial investment themselves. Meaning they make a conscious decision to buy the workouts, thus with intention of using the workouts. Borrowing does not have the same dedication. Ask for your dvds back and tell her that you are about to start a rotation and need them ASAP. Then if she asks again, just say no.


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:39 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 2009 Video Fitness